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NOTE: ...See Below for Your 2-FREE eBooKs...
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...CHAPTER NINE/9...
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= THE POWER OF LISTENING =
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Knowing how to listen to others and how to get them to open up and talk is the single most important skill you need to win. You must depend on others for much of your data. Get him to share his life experience with you. Little of daily life is really important, most is repetitive routine, thus to share anothers' valuable experience takes only a short time. To do this intellignece gathering efficiently, you must know how to direct your conversations so as to elicit their candid opiniions you desire. One of most peoples fears is that they will be found lacking and therefore be rejected. First step then = counter this fear. This works best
by giving some reassuring indications that this won't happen with you.
Here's how to drop such hints:
* Be accepting and willing to take in whatever is said without being judgemental.
* Listen carefully and ask the kind of question that seems to be generated by listening to a fascinating and bright person. Don't sound probing. Convey that your interest is generated by a mutual concern, by an understanding of the other person, or by his charm.
* Be genuinly interested in the other person. The other person can't help but reveal himself. Let him talk - you listen. Ask how and why they feel the way they do.
* Use silence in dealing with people - draw them out. You also can repeat the last few words of their sentence. Use non-commital positive comments, e.g. - (no kidding great, really, wow, etc.). Smile and nod your head.
To expand a conversation, ask additional questions such as "What do you mean?" "I don't understand".
* To be a good listener you must be genuinely interested in discovering what the other person has to say. As soon as other people discover they are safe with you, and that you genuinely approve of them, they will begin to open up even more.
Sometimes it's useful to remain a stranger, people sometimes reveal their weak spots, confessing shortcomings they would never tell anyone else.
If you use power to change other peoples minds, getting them to come over to your way of thinking is impossible to do. Every point has two sides and most people have a tent- ative belief in both and vacillate between the two possibilities. To win an arguement you should agree with those of the other person's beliefs that are closest to yours. This develops a sense of mutuality. Agree very strongly when others ideas fit with your own. You motivate them to agree with you even more. The best way to convince another person to adopt your idea is to give him credit for having thought of it.
--- To do this:
1. Begin the conversation in a non-threatening way. Present the problems as if asking for advice.
2. Ask the other person for his suggestions and opinions.
3. Pronounce the advice "brilliant" as soon as any fragment of your idea appears.
4. Restate the fragment with "you mean..." filling it out more completely with your idea.
5. Praise the other person for the idea and allow him to elaborate on it.
6. Tell someone else about "his idea" in front of him and get that person to agree with your opinioin of it.
* Go ahead give the other person credit.
* LOSERS feel they own part of WINNERS ideas when they are successful.
* With dependent people simply make a clear forceful statement - they will try to agree with you.
RULE #1 - LISTEN
RULE #2 - DON'T BLAME ANYONE FOR A PROBLEM
RULE #3 - ATTRIBUTE YOUR SOLUTION TO SOMEONE ELSE,
HOPEFULLY SOMEONE WHO IS GOING TO BE ABLE TO CLEAR THE
PROBLEM UP.
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Contributor's Note
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BE A WINNER...&...LIFE Will SMILE On YOU
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