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Make WINNING Your Lifestyle - #16
By Mark Alan Jorgensen of TLC-NETwORK
` NOTE: ...See Below for Your 2-FREE eBooKs... ` ` ` ...CHAPTER SIXTEEN/16... ` ` = HOW TO WIN WHEN PEOPLE ACT HELPLESS CONTROLLING OR COMPETITIVE = ` ` * In order to manage another person you must pay him the coinage of his realm, not yours. The HELPLESS - DEPENDENT TYPE --- Tends to see others as sources or consumers of supplies. Tends to be passive in face of stress. He feeds on reassurance. His actions seem always to depend on other people. They are often their own biggest enemies. Show interest in them, believe in them, like them, but set limits, deadlines, quotas and be sure you both agreee before hand. * Don't express your self-doubts. They tend to be possissive in their relationships. They easily get discouraged but also respond easily to warmth. They often resent the fact they need to be treated in a childlike way. * Don't try to change them. They become passive when they feel threatened. The CONTROLLING TYPE --- Also independent, they get caught up with little details, the small parts of larger problems, thus often missing the big picture. They tend to place everything into little compartments. They worry. They want to know all the possibilities, the rules of the game; prefer to do everything neat and orderly. Beneath the surface they fear losing control of their own anger, and have a nagging doubt they are no good, angry, dishonest or dirty. Their details will drive you crazy, but only when their details are in order will they feel in order. They are unaware of other's feelings and don't wish to injure intentionally. * Don't argue and attempt to show who is in control. Try to get him to use his control in ways useful to you. Try not to appear as an outraged victim injured by his rigidity but rather a helpful person who sees an important detail that has been missed. * Demand to see the forest, not the trees. Controlling people secretly, suspect that they may be wrong. * Never attack individual details, redirect him to the direction you want. The COMPETIVE TYPE --- These people seem aggressive, outgoing, always out toprove a point. On the surface, they are mroe able to get along with others than the other 2 types, and they are often admired and esteemed, which is their goal in life, to have others look up to them, admire them, respect or desire them, which is why they frequently put others down, to place themselves in a better position. They hate to lose and are obnoxious winners: WINNING to them means that someone else is in- variably losing. They respond to stress with action. At the same time they may seem a bit stereotyped or automatic in their response and a bit insincere. In spite of their competitiveness, they may not feel secure about themselves. They appear to be playing a role they think they should like. They are so afraid of putting down the mask, looking in the mirror and deciding for themselves who they are, that they never really seem able to find the roles that fits them best. They do not dare to be themsleves, or try to discover who they are, because they might not come out as well as they wish. Such people struggle to achieve recognition; they are looking for reasurance that they are estimable. These people need firm limits, but are easier to manage than the other types. Their competitiveness is directed at trying to look better then whomever happens to be around. * Immediately concede to these people that they are estimable and do good work. More than any other group, competitive people feel discomfort and guilt about those they have put down when they approach success; indeed many chronic failures have this type of personality. By showing them you believe they are worthwhile and good, you stop their attack. They don't have to pull you down to pull themselves up. You just pulled them up. They usually need frank praise to feel good. When they feel bad about themselves they may tear others down, and favorite targets are people in authority. The trick is toleave it up to them to prove (by doing something constructive) that your faith in them is not mistaken and that they are worthwiile. Reassuring them of their worth only makes them feel that they are under more pressure to perform, to please and to accomplish. They do love praise. =========================///======================= `
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Contributor's Note
` BE A WINNER...&...LIFE Will SMILE On YOU ` ` == GRAB Your FREE 23-pg PDF eBooK == ` ` How To Make WINNING + Your Lifestyle =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= > 23pgs of Solid Wisdom & Life Lessons... SEND TO: netmentor4u@gmail.com In SUBJECT LINE Type: "WINNING" +PLUS+ ... "WINNING The GAME of LIFE" =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= ..=SIMPLY + SUCCESS= MARK ALAN JORGENSEN == THANK YOU == ` =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= http://msp123.com/netmentor.html FREE Marketing & Training TOOLS! =University Of Internet Science= -[To Best View The Site Use IE]- =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= -(See LINK on Profile & below)- `
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This intel was contributed by NetMENTOR

NetMENTOR
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May, 2012
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